Thursday, 11 October 2012

Oh Sugar do do doodo do dodo

i need cheering up...but first i need to write something down so it gets out of my head and i can move up and away.
sorry i haven't been around, i feel kind of stuck at the moment. and i don't feel like anybody really  gets it.
this year has brought a lot of sadness for me, i haven't spoken about it all to many people, and i know i haven't said much on here. but that's just because i needed to just keep going, keep on swimming, because otherwise it all falls down.
early in the year i left a long relationship, i moved out and back with my parents, i then quit my job and was really, really lost. my entire life had changed, nothing was normal anymore and it was the saddest, quietest time in my life.
but i knew i couldn't stay in a non-existence forever, so i eventually found another job, only to come home the day before i started to the news that my uncle had committed suicide.
everything was very still for a very long time.
and after the initial despair left, a quiet feeling of dread stayed around for ages. i was afraid. scared of life, scared that it was all so fragile and what if i was doing it all wrong?
when i finally managed to get back into some ordinary thinking, got my job and health back on track, me and a lovely friend started planning moving. moving from fields and mud to a bigger city with sparkly lights.
i promised i'd get back into blogging, back to writing.
then a few weeks ago my beautiful dog died. the house still feels empty.
this year has left me feeling weary, so bone tired.
i am glad that the new year is so near, i can almost smell the cooler air.
i heard 2012 was going to be the end to things, well for me it has been the end to many things, but now at least i can say there are only new beginnings left to explore.
the move to the glittery city is well and truly rolling in the right direction.
and i have somebody. somebody who i know will never end, somebody who is wonderful and i don't need to say his name because he knows who he is. together we are just beginning.

right, not i've got that out of me once and for all, i need cheering are some cakes i've been baking coming sooooonly :)

love and all that jazz x


Kaz said...

Sorry to hear you've had such a tough year, fingers crossed things will look up for you from now on :) you've made it through so much, it can only get better now.
Mega jealous of the amount of baking you've been doing... It all looks delicious!
Kaz x

Abigail Hinton said...

we have alot to catch up on when i get back missie!!! love you loads miss you wish i could of been there for you hunni xxx

Jaymie said...

omg this is food porn and a half haha looks amazing <3