Saturday, 12 February 2011

i think sometimes, if i let myself, i can feel very very small. but i don't mean the kind of small that other people make you feel, i mean the kind that only you can see. its like i'm walking along, humming a sweet kind of tune that i heard someday on the radio or maybe in a friends car, when something happens. or maybe it had been happening and i only just realised, so maybe it just felt like it had sprung itself onto me. but anyway, its as if the grass begins growing, taller and taller all around me and at first i'm scared, not just of the grass but because everything else is getting bigger too; the houses becoming giant's castles, stretching up up up so their rooftops are obscured by the clouds. and the lamp posts spike the sky, stirring the heavens and making raindrops the size of boats fall all around, plunging the world into an inky mess. but then my fear changes slightly; instead i start to become more and more frustrated, because everything carries on; everybody still talks in the same voice, completely unaware that their words are booming around me, making the ground shake and me almost topple, they still stomp ahead, oblivious to me stumbling along after them in a desperate attempt to keep up and dodge the flood falling from the vast blue thing above me. and what makes it laughable is that they keep turning their heads and looking at me like, 'whats the problem? it's only a bit of rain' and then i finally bubble over and i'm angry, really, really down to my core, angry. i scream and shout and kick at the stupid blades of grass that have now grown bigger than me, i march around with my eyes squeezed shut whilst fierce tears trace across my creased face. 
and then suddenly, those words echo once again in my ears:
its only a bit of rain
then, just like that, the grass starts shrinking, or, rather, i simply start to grow. until the rain is just that, tiny splashes of water that make me smile and hum that sweet song again. as soon as i remind myself that i don't have to clamber over grass, its easy to dance through the rain.

1 comment:

Josh Redman said...

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